What Can Tool in UO?
by Spleen
For some crazy reason, the original text is just GONE in my copy of this story. I know I made a big writeup of it, too. People who have alot of local copies of my stuff, check for cantool.htm to see if you have mine with all the original commentary. If we can find it, I will gladly replace it. For now, I will give a really basic play-by-play description, as this was a long time ago (Original was dated Nov '99), and I'll never remember all the details ...
I'm in the army green robe, obviously. To my left is Immortal, who played for like 2 days. Wheez is around in a drobe, and can be seen in the next pic. It doesn't take a genius to know who the guy on the white horse is, who else can say "fuck get out here!" with a straight face? You guessed it, new.kye!!! The guy on the brown horse I barely remember, he was a tuff friend of kyes, and had a four letter name. He is probably in another story somewhere on here. The angry naked man is none other than KAMI-YU, who if you will remember, is new.kyes BAD ASS SAMURAI buddy who he called in to kill us. I know I rolled him once all by myself, and he had a couple healers (including new.kye, which is great), and Wheez and I downed him at least 3 times in our various cave operations, so I am really not sure what event this takes place after. He was a very quiet, stoic kinda guy, and for awhile it was actually scary. He was 7xGM back then, way before skill locks, when it was sorta hard to do and keep. I couldnt only think of 4 people (including myself) who I knew were 7xGM mages. This guy at the MOST would wear some pants, and (of course) he was always on a horse. He would sit right on the guardlines and never say a word, silently challenging us to leave town with him. He had alot of balls that guy, and he was definitely a very skilled player, just not as skilled as we were.
Here, you can see, he just completely broke down this one time. He is without his pants and without his horse which means he got rolled SEAL style, where we whacked, looted, whacked his horse, and faded before his army of gay healers could catch up to him. It was so funny because we fought this guy for several weeks, and he was really good, and never said a word. I probably had more respect for him than any other stranger at the time. That was, until he snapped and just went apeshit, accusing Wheez and I of cheating and using "CHEET TOOLS" etc.
This is one of our favorite lines. WHAT CAN TOOL IN UO? We use this for various things, like when we're playing pool and Wheez makes some impossible shot.. "WHAT CAN TOOL???" These guys affected us alot more than they will ever realize.
Here I was putting my famous fake T.T eyes over immortal. He's just staring at the guy, watching him bitch, and I'm 2 squares left making fake cry faces, hahaha, that probably blew their collective mind.
You can see his funny spam macro he LOVED to use, "ALL FOLLOW ME A LOVE RECDU RECSU vender buy bank guard!!" hahaha!
CHEET
TOOL
When someone asked what cheat program we would use, we would usually just say Sairen Dragon's God Client. This picture is SO fucking old. It was made by Stonemann, while he was in TM, before Sairen joined, I think. That places it within a few months of when I joined TM, which means its fucking ancient. All this time I have used this awesome picture, the best thing Stonemann ever did, and I never modified it in any way, or changed it to Spreens God Client or anything like that. That's how much respect I had for this wonderful tool. This CHEET TOOL, if you will. I know that Wheez and I personally have gotten a million laughs or more from this pic, from the first day it was made, even up until now. Terms like "rap1d l33tz0r c4st1ng" and "Flood User off Ultima Online" are still used today.
Here is Wheezl applying a little patented Wheezlove to KAMI-YU. It's funny, I remember KAMI-YU was the first person (japanese player, I mean) that recognized what it was, and got the hell out of the way. This is what Wheez would do when ALL other forms of communication had broken down, he would start talking in turkish basically, somethnig everyone, even some forms of bacteria, can understand. "I FUCK U".
I imagine he and his little crew all paged GMs, who undoubtedly came because the names Spleen and Wheezl struck fear into the hearts of Hokuto GMs. I swear if we had played another month or two they would have made a new button on the help menu : "If Spreen, Wheezl, or a j00 member killed you with a cheat, is harassing you, using racial slurs, cussing, killed your packhorse, stole your ore, killed you with a tinker trap, looted your house, killed you while polymorphed, stole your boat, killed you in town, or stole your silver weapon, click here".
Here I am sticking some fake T.T eyes on KAMI-YU later that evening. Oddly enough, I don't think we EVER saw him again in Minoc. He came to kill us, got his ass handed to him, exploded violently this one night, and left. He got out Minoc forever.Why?LoL.
