Let's LoveCooking!! with Monet

by "Splln", as she likes to call me

Monet. Here she is again! This is actually one of our earliest adventures with her, but since I do shit in random order now, she will seem like an old friend. Ely and I always greet her with pies. They are normal storebought "a baked pie" pies, but they do the trick. One time she was waiting for us with REAL player-made pies, "an apple pie", etc. She told me she made them just for me! I thought that was pretty sweet. Later that day, Ely and I run into her at the bank. She is ALWAYS at the bank, ALWAYS on the same square, ALWAYS facing north, and ALWAYS CL'ed (or as her friend BALDES says, "SHE IS LOST"). She said she had to go, and when I asked where, she said VESPER. When I asked why, she said "TO BAKING". "Can we come?" "YES!!!" This was the same day I told her to stop using all caps, which I sorta regret, because her caps usage really added to her hotness. She still has it LOCKED usually, though.

I instantly gate to vesper, and we go. She stands around the bank awhile... We figure out that she is CLed, and when she logs back on, Ely informs her that its time to go bake some fucking pies!! We ran all the way down to the farmers market, where she had us get water and little bowls of flour and our pie ingredients. (They ended up having all these things where we went next) Why I have no pics from the vesper farmers market I have no idea, but we weren't there for very long. Then she says we must goto "minok inn" which could only mean THE BARNACLE! The source of all l33tn3ss in Minoc.

I gate to The Barnacle Tavern (or MINOK INN as we sometimes call it now) and she directs us to one particular NPC. They ALL sell the same shit here, but she tells us to get our ingredients from one guy in particular.  "you take from he"...

"this men" and faces away from any and all NPCs. This NPC was kind enough to to tell her (in olde britannian english) that she doesn't make much sense. To this DAY I still dont understand how japanese people can communicate with NPCs at all.

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I wanted to make a bean pie, but as we already know, there are no beans in britannia! You can substitue GOLD COINS for beans in an ONI emergency, but you still can't make pies out of gold, so my problem was insurmountable.

Let's see what she can do...

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Not a damn thing. She re-asks my question and continues talking about other things.

She has no idea the cokking we want to give her.

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She rambles on with simple instructions on how to make pies, as Ely and I furiously create hundreds of pies per minute (PPM) with last target. She pays no heed to the piles of empty bowls and "puttures" littering the ground as Ely and I work like third world kids.

Since I had bought all kinds of crazy shit at the farmers market, I was trying to make pies out of everything I could get my hands on. Pears, apples, pumpkins, peaches (althought I wouldn't know, because Ely instantly bought out every peach in the market before the door even closed behind us), chicken, and meat all made different pies. Cheese, lemons, and onions did not make pies. If I had beans, I'm sure they would have made lovely pies.

Of course, she loses connect, and when she gets back, Ely and I have tons of pies. I happened to have had her paperdoll open during this shot, check out the PIRATE HAT GREEN TWO-TAILS HOTNESS!!!!

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She gets back, and I start throwing all the different types of pies I had made on a trade window. thx!! When I show her a pumpkin pie, she lets out a "yoohh" which I guess is uhh... umm.. I actually have no idea what a "yoohh" is.

I thank her properly for PIE SCHOOL, and she tells us how VERY happy she is!! so happy!!!

We both give her smiley faces, while Ely stares at her breasts, and I think up a way to get her to eat my meat pie, which I had saved for last!

I test the waters with my apple pie. Apparently, my apple pie is ...

dericiuse

So I break out the meat pie...

She likes it! She eats my meat and says it is sweet! "verry sweet" in fact!

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hahaha

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She is soooo excited! She is having fun, and tells us! "im so fun"  While randomly clicking on shit I had somehow come up with a pizza! I cooked it and gave it to her. "looke like good" hahaha

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With all our pies made, she sits down at the table and eats her pizza. She also throws down some dice which may not be of much signifigance to most people, but Ely and I are noticing that those 2gp "dice and cup" things play a VERY crucial role in the japanese social system. People have been known to take murder hits, or attack you in guards if you take off with their dice. Maybe it is a way of her showing her trust, she lays down her dice where we could easily take them, leaving herself vulnerable. But we love her, and we don't molest her dice. Pie Party! "yaaa" Ely and I both start smacking down pies all over the table, especially in front of her.

She gobbles up every pie we throw down, until the client physically restrains her from eating more pie!!! What a wonderful feature that is! No wonder women like Callista love this game!

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But that wont stop her from drinking! It's time to get her drunk, then "Let's Threesome!!" She keeps clicking pies, and is sad because she can't have any more. I bet she really is sad that she can't take our gifts anymore. Once that wine is down though, she starts powerdrinking with a quickness, and is drunk in seconds.

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Ely, being a nerd, throws down a pitcher of milk for her. Get that shit out of here! One tried and true rule of thumb is : only give hotties liquor. Ely breaks all the rules, and she starts drinking his milk, out of courtesy I imagine. Thanks to my wine, she is *hic*ing like mad, which turns her around. One thing you learn about japs, they MUST face you when talking. MUST MUST MUST!!! Every time she hiccups, she instantly spins around to face us again. It was like trying to get a photo of a bullet in flight, I could NOT get a pic of her turned around, that is how fast she did it.

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Milk is bad! Do NOT drink the milk, only liquor plz. thx. Ely insists milk is good. What does she do? She empties one and a half bottles of wine plus most of Ely's milk.

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I lay the facts out for her, and she agrees. Wine is definitely gooder than milk. Here in BOTH pics she hiccups, and before I can move my index finger to hit the screenshot button she is turned around.

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Ely says he has Milk Mania, and she ... agrees? I guess that is agreement. Shes saying "yeah you wierdo, you DO have Milk Mania, wtf is up with that??". But, being Monet, she keeps it to three tiny one-syllable words. "ely you do".

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It was about 7:30 AM, and Ely and I had to sleep. She started saying her goodbyes, or "by's" I should say, and I say "ChuChuSpleen?". I know alot of you are thinking ChuChuRokketo (go watch it as soon as you're done reading this please), but that is not what I meant. Apparently "chu" is one of several "kiss sounds" in japanese. Both "chu" and "myu" have been documented as kisses. I'm more or less asking for a goodbye kiss, but she just says "yes"... "kiss spleen plz" ... "yes". I don't get it. BUT! On her very last hiccup, I finally get a split-second screenshot of her facing the wrong direction. Probably because she was typing at the time.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE LOVE MONET!!!