Dergan, Terathan Slayer

by Spleen

Wheezl, Elysium, and I were gonna go fool around at the Terathan Keep yesterday, and we're at the bank about to go when a noisy newbie named Dergan makes an appearance. He had picked up some unsellable magic crap off the bank floor like earrings of night eyes:4 and a substantial war fork, and he NEEDED to have them IDed. He keeps bugging Wheez to ID his stuff for him, and Wheez goes "OK...... a suprassingly stupid retard of newbishness, charges : unlimited" or something like that. Dergan is wise, he knows the joke, he laughs along with us. Wheez then tells him there are ID wands all over the ground where we are going, but Dergan doesn't seem to buy it. He gives up on the item ID, but he desperately wants a place to tame horses. He keeps asking if we know where to tame horses, and I say "there are TONS of horses, more than you can shake a stick at, where we are going", at the EXACT same time wheez says "there are some horses there, not many, but a few". He must not have caught that, so with a promise to bring him back, he joins our adventure.

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Here we are at the bank getting ready to split. Me in my army green robe of r33tness, Wheez in a drobe and orchelm, Dergan still in his newbie clothes, and Ely in a yellow headband, red vinyl porno boots, and a bright green dress I got off some jap. Here you can also see a favorite hobby of Elys, to spot a good looking jap chick paperdoll, and say "so-and-so hottie" and we start accosting them.

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Here we get to the Terathan Keep, and I tell Dergan to run on up ahead inside where its safe. Seeing a ton of beasts in there on allnames, I figured this would end his fun right then and there, but to my suprise, he comes bolting out like a rat out of an aqueduct about 5 seconds later, probably because I didn't go in with him. No luck, the little newb survived.

Wheez, Ely, and I set to work stonewalling japs with avengers chasing them, looting their kills, and being all around pricks. Dergan follows us around, saying stupid shit like this, and telling us he's a bard, and can provoke and peacemake for us. We all kinda thought he would get waxed without us trying, just by walking around, I mean, EVENTUALLY something will attack him right?? right ?? Nope, he continue to survive and bug us with dumb questions, for well over 30 minutes, even going off on his own sometimes, and coming back alive. Looks like this resourceful little newb wants to play hardball...

The Killing of Dergan

It's terathan avenger time for bard-boy, and Wheez and I verbally agree on a plan. Wheez, who has an avenger on him, is gonna go get it suck on a ledge, while I bring a Dergan down with me, and at the verbal signal, we both invis, so it will target, and destroy, our good buddy Dergan.

Here is step 1, I tell Dergan we need him to peacemake something for us, and to come quickly! We rush down to where Wheez has an avenger stuck, and an Invis already cast.

Dergan gets down there, and Wheez and I both go invis, the avenger gets on poor little Dergan.

Here you can see, Dergan vs. the terathan avenger, isn't going well for Dergan. I didn't think much of it at the time, but Dergan's panicked typo in this pic is genius. He's asking for HELP and a HEAL at the same time! He's asking for a HEALP! Sadly though, THIS DIDN'T FUCKING KILL DERGAN! You run up to ANY jap and ask for a heal, and they will do it, so it wasn't hard for him to get healed. We did this exact scam a second time, and this time he actually peaced it, and bolted off! Wheez even stonewalled the little cocksucker at a narrow pass, and he got away alive! After that, I think Dergan knew what was up, because he kinda stopped hanging around us. We just said fuckit, he's gonna die eventually, and went about our business. Sure enough, a little later I saw 2 or 3 Dergan corpses right inside the Keep, and saw him get ressed by japs a few times. Bout an hour later, Wheez and Ely had recalled, and were headed to orc fort, Dergan comes up to me in his drobe and asks for a gate home. I say OK!, run him inside the keep again, and say "wait RIGHT here! I'll brb and gate you!" then recall home. I imagine he died a few more times. Who knows, he might still be there! Dergan, the eternal newbie who haunts the terathan keep...