Dev makes some new friends

by Spleen

I love Dev. He has had a Hokuto char for 20 minutes or less, no possesions other than a storebought katana. He had whacked on a training dummy for a bit and had probably 15 swords. He's waiting for me to pick him up at Vesper bank. I get there, and he's already picked a huge fucking fight with morons. The chick, Kazue Sacer, was being gay and flirty at the bank with 2 horsefags Bore (in shadow armor and blue cape), and DEVON (in silver armor and red cape). He kept calling her a man. "whoa there big boy" and "it's a man, baby!"

X

She kept getting more pissed every second. "GRRRRRRRRRRR"

He replies "girls don't growl". I'm already laughing my ass off, fight or no fight. "cal lme a man again AND YOU DIE!" This was just what I wanted. I ICQ him saying "GO!! Go out of town and fight, I'll handle it". Of  course, Dev doesn't read that ICQ. I'm next to him saying "go fight her you puss!!" He doesn't know its me. They are all buying it. "YEAH GO FITE HER U PUSS!!" He's sitting there at the bank waiting for me. She's thinking "damn he's a puss, why won't he come fight me and these 3 other guys?" I say "DEV DEV DEV" and he sees it's me. "GO FIGHT HER YOU PUSS!" He catches on, and says OK.

XX

The funeral march begins, and we start walking out of town. I'm egging her on, making sure she's gonna look like a moron if we get there and she says "ok now you attack me!" I like the fact that she added "and loot him". Like killing him isn't enough for her. SHE IS PISSED! Well, it didn't work out so well for her. She DID attack him, and he hit twice, taking her to about half health. She never touched him. He had 15 swords! She ran off after she got hit the second time, and we lost her. She had NO CHANCE to win any fight, if she couldn't hang with a 15 swords 45/10/10 newbie. This just proved she had NO plan other than to get him out of guards and get us 3 tuffguys to gangbang him for her. (this is important later)

After we lost her, I start trying to incite the gangbang. "lets get him!" Bore is buying it, ready to snap any second.

This is now one of my alltime favorite screenshots. It just shows how much Dev rules. He knows I have his back no matter what happens. "step to me tough guys" ROFL! DEVON however, pusses out. "attack me! i dare ya". We've all heard that a zillion times... A total copout for someone who came out here just to gangbang poor Dev. Bore holds off for the time being.

X

The bitch shows back up again, making potions and chock full of excuses. "IM NEW IM A GIRL I DONT FIGHT" Gotta love that. She brings him out here to kill and loot him, runs off like a puss immediately, and now it's "IM A GIRL I DONT FIGHT". Sure dude. I like Bores comment there about letting him attack her. "yeah then he would be grey and we could all jump his ass like we planned!" Dev knows the deal. He hasn't played UO in almost a year, but he knows to stay blue.

The chick attacks Dev again, who immediatly takes the upper hand with his 15 swords and 12 tactics despite her heal potions! She says something to the tune of "GET HIM BOYS HELP ME HERE!!!!" DEVON I think has seen me work Vesper bank before, and probably suspected foul play. but Bore knows he's gonna get some cyber ass if he does this, so he jumps on Dev, going grey. He hits Dev once, doing about 1/4 of his health, Dev has no chance. I doubleclick Bore, getting the attack ready. "DONT KILL BORE" He gets tuff. "bitch!!"

Enter Spleen. I throw a para on Bore, who has no pouches and spins in place for awhile. Explode/Para, then an Explode/Hally/EB combo. Bore hits the mat HARD, not even needing the last Corp Por I had up. I see Dev and Kazue Sacer about neck and neck, so I put Bores extra Corp Por on her. Almost dead, I run up with a hallywhack and seal the deal. Dev and I loot these dipshits gleefully, as DEVON watches on, hopefully feeling like the coward he is.

X

Dev and I are about to start reminiscing, when DEVON shows up and gets all defensive. First thing he says is "what i'm not stuid!" Sure man. Going out to gangbang some guy from the bank 4 on 1, you're worse than stupid. People like that are total trash.

X

He reaches into his pouch of stock "We just got owned" lines, and pulls out the "don't worry your time will come" card. I sure get that alot. I think that card is in the bag twice or something. Someone should look into that...

We take our time getting back to the bank, and the whole crowd is there. Bore there in full plate with hally, looking VERY tuff, DEVON in the lower corner, Shanon [Red Princess Mage, RRB] in the red skirt, and none other than Melinko [Red Court Jester, RRB] cussing Dev out! If you didn't know, RRB is Red Riders of Britannia, perhaps the gayest American guild on Hokuto. Take a look at their owo.com page, and their real, completely retarded, guildpage for some laughs at the .html going on there, as well as some kickass midis! Wheez and I attempted to infiltrate RRB awhile back, and it didn't work out. It takes too long to get in, our disguise kits only last 2 hours. I could probably do it, because I never use that old char anymore, not too sure about Wheez, it's his only good char. So we have Melinko RRB cussing at Dev for gangbanging him. Does this seem strange to anyone but me? He walked out there with one intention, to gangbang the shit out of Dev 4 on 1!!! But is ALL ABOUT preaching the gayness of gangbangs now that he's here at the bank. What a PIECE OF SHIT! Another thing, his whole "IM A GIRL" thing fell apart FAST! HE WAS PISSED IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE DEV WAS CALLING HIM A GUY!!!!!! This pigfucker has some serious gender issues. He says "COME DOUBLE ME OUTSIDE YOU FUCKIN PUSS". Dev and I both say OK instantly, he says "bank" and recalls away. The rest of the pussies wandered their seperate ways. I guess he wasn't up for a 4 on 2. RRB Members are all pieces of homosexual shit. Roll them at each and every opportunity, and take a pic of the corpses, when I start a "gay guild corpses" section, I want RRB on there.