DoA

OPERATION : SLEEPY WEASEL

by Spleen

This is the tale of a Guild, a very TOUGH guild. The guilds name? DoA. (never did find out what it stands for) Their mission? To stand at the bank and look MEAN, and SPAR eachother, and talk about their SKILLS, also, to have TOUGH guildnames like "WarMaster" and "Seeker of Adventure". We have had a few run-ins with these tools in the past, and I dont think one has survived to date. I came across 5 of these clowns at minoc bank, while making my rounds. Yes, I am the sherriff. I figure I'll get involved in this big group spar going on here, so I get crim flagged, stand in their group in combat mode, and do some fake attacks. All but one of them replies with "vender buy bank guards recdu rescu i ban thee". I ask some hardhitting questions as Wheezl, my right hand bastard, shows up on the scene.

Wheezl, never much for conversation, begins the expletive assault, but still no fight. They have gotten wise, and prove this by buying RIGHT into Wheezls claim to 130 Magery, and 123 Eval, as well as my 200 Str and Tactics. They take pics for the GM's, and are proud of it. Losing patience with these fags, I devise a brilliant, evil, and very funny scheme. Its name is instantly agreed upon, OPERATION : SLEEPY WEASEL! My main char, and Wheezl's, are in the Thieves Guild. We rush back to our houses, quit the j00 guildstone, use the thief disguise kits to get a randomly generated name, and pick out some TOUGH outfits and TOUGH hairdo's. I become Akbaar, and Wheezl becomes Sheldon.

Dig my hair? yeah... We return to the bank, and chat it up with the guy that seems to lead them, Taven Stormcloak. I STILL laugh at that name. STORM + CLOAK? I don't get it. Wheezl, I mean Sheldon, chats it up bigtime, about getting us in the guild. They buy it all, and since we look like retarded pussies, we fit right in. Taven tells us a guild spar is going on at the guild boat, and invites us.

We arrive at the DoA guild boat, the "S.S. Bounty".

"hehehehehe's" all around, when ANYTHING is said, so being the social chamelions we are, Wheez and I adapt accordingly.

The guy running the show, asks if us "new guys" are ready for the group spar, and we both reply INSTANTLY.

The FUN FUN FUN spar begins, and they begin to chat it up again, inviting us to a saturday night "hunt". What exactly these retarded bastards are hunting, I have no idea. Droolcups maybe? We had to make damn sure all of them are grey to one or both of us in one form or another so we didnt take a murder hit when the shit hit the fan. Finally Taven goes grey attacking one of the other guys, completing the circle.

Wheezl's target is at about half health, but mine keeps healing. I say I need to get my archery checked real fast, and throw on my bow. I tell Wheezl, in the other room, as soon as my second arrow hits, we strike. As soon as it does, we open up a can of KUNG-FU WHOOPASS! We both drop our weaps, and cast some explodes. Wheez's guy dies first, mine half a second later, as the third guy gets confused and starts hoofing it to the back of the boat, like that will save his precious little ass.

We throw on our weaps, corner him, and dole out the beatdown of a lifetime.

Knowing in advance which goon had the boatkey, I was holding it as soon as he hit the mat. When the third guy was down, we sailed our newest boat off, with the ghosts spamming their appreciation. I stop it once we're far enough from shore, and let Wheezl deliver the oh-so-sour news.

Our mission complete, we set sail for our home, Bastard Island. The corpses had a nice spread at this angle, and 2 of our ghostlike new friends were manifested, so I nabbed this final shot for all to enjoy.