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Lunch Boxes Uneasy Truce
by Spleen
Lunch Box is a miner. (How many of my stories have started off with that?)
He is sick and tired of all the ingot stealing going on in this town. I stole all of his ingots, some of them at the same instant he smelted them and they hit his pack. He started carrying a locked box, I stole the entire locked box. I guardkilled his friend and walked around with his lantern and pickaxe. He approaches me at the bank with a heartfelt plea:
"Spleen, I am but an honest tradesman with no desire to fight, please be so kind as to leave me alone."
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You have my word, Lunch Box.
Unfortunately, I know Wheezl is about 20 squares away with just enough reagents for an explode and a flamestrike...
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Nowhere in our agreement did I guarantee the safety of your horse, good sir!
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Haha. Wheezl never was very big on public relations.
He saunters off, his heart full of anger and his face burning with shame...
Round 2
(1 hour later)
He shows up after about an hour of mining and smithing in a homemade battle suit!
"Bring it, Spleen!"
There was a split second where I wasn't sure if I should fight this fight. I had stolen from him umpteen times, so I am perma-grey to him here. Keep in mind, my thief has 0 eval, 0 tactics, 0 weaponskill, 0 wrestling, 0 healing, 0 anat, and 0 heal regs.
It really was only a split second. With a poison and a few lightnings Lunch Box actually hits the mat. The players on this server who I am able to kill on my completely offense and defense-less thief are few and far between, let me tell you.
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After a couple of res-kills, he insults me by commenting on the quality of his loot. Imagine the desperation there! Someone kicks your ass, and you tell them "Well at least my stuff sucked!!!"
Wow you must be rich. Go get some more money, I know it is coming directly to me, by steal or by loot.
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Uh oh. I am on his HIT LIST.
You and 67,523 other fuckers, Lunch Box. Get in line.
Once again, he saunters off, his heart full of anger and his face burning with shame...
Many times now throughout my career some miner who ones battled me and hated me shows up about 6 months later. Suddenly now they have 100 tactics and swordsmanship and 74 magery and they are ready to rock and roll. Well, roll at least. I have a hunch this isn't the last we have heard from Lunch Box.
Recently, I ran across a guy named "The Toe Cutter" at Nujelm bank. He was some sort of Lord, had a title like Grandmaster Scholar, and dressed like a typical tough-guy. The funny thing is, 3 or 4 months ago he was running around in nothing but a half apron mining his heart out. I still remember where you came from, Toe Cutter. At the bank, in front of all his tough guildmates. I walked up and said "Howdy cutter, how is the mining?" and he goes "I don't mine". I said "Oh, you dropped it and became a tough guy?"
Fuck you, Spleen.
Kal Ort Por