OPERATION : UOJ

"Avengers of Justice"

by Spleen

PART 1 - "Yeah, we are all about justice..."

UoJ, The Union of Justice. Members : Defenders of Justice. Avg Member Str : 57. I'm sure you will remember UoJ from my last update, which actually happened the night before this. We decided that gang was such a badass fighting force, fighting for justice, that we had to be a part of it. This newbie we sorta know named Sir Spanky joined, and he's a week old with 48 str. I remember saying that night that UoJ must be infiltrated, but I had no idea it would be so soon!

I'm off somewhere playing Delta Force, and Wheez says "if you log on right now, you can be a UoJ, I think I'm in". HOLY !!!!! HELL YES!! What happened was, Wheezl buddied up and dueled the Guildmaster of UoJ and rolled the hell out of her. Apparently she had like 85 magery and a power dagger, thats about it. With her wacked, Wheezl was in. He tells her his friend is also looking for a guild, and he has 100 magery!!! She asks what he wants his guild title to be, and he runs into my room to confer. Avenger of Justice was instantly agreed upon, because it sounded super tough.

I get off Delta Force, and run to Vesper bank. I am greeted by an Avenger of Justice Wheezl!!!

I show up at the guildhouse, where I meet these 2 characters. In blue and purple, we have the guildmistress Angelica Swift. Next to her is a total newbie moron chick named Sage, who is High Fisherman. There are some things Sage just won't do. Shut up for a second is one of them. Both of them are female chars, both of them are complete preteen boys in real life. It's so obvious, especially later at the bank. I act nice, and make sure I put my exclamation marks after everything.

Look at the kind of TUFFNESS being displayed here. Angelica Swift is flamestriking herself to prove what a BADASS she is!

She's so badass in fact, she tells us all about how she makes 30k a day!!! wow! We should be doing what youre doing! I'd be suprised if she could make 5k working nonstop throughout a 24 hour period.

... and speaking of periods, here she talks about I don't know what. I asked wheez in the other room "what the fuck is she trying to tell us here?" "dude, I have no fucking idea" We were both mystified. I think she is talking about "woman problems" but I can't be too sure.

Here she goes off on some rant about PKs. Yeah, you guessed it, that same old overused story. She tells us how she was jumped by SIX PKs, and how they killed her, but she got TWO of them first. We both start laughing HARD. Not a fucking CHANCE she is going to do anything like that. Wheez runs into my room so we can make eachother laugh about this. I say, she's LUCKY to get two KOP attempts before dying. Not a fucking chance. Some mad jap 0ping PKs on horses with deerhats show up, her ass is on the mat in SECONDS, and she sure as HELL isn't "taking two down with her". But boy, do those newbies eat it up like candy. "wow 6 PKs and you got two! how brave!" Fucking loser... notice Sage acting like she's gonna be afk.

X

She asks what she wants me guild title to be, and says she wants it to be High Mage, because I have 100 magery. I don't go that way, I want to be an Avenger of Justice like my brother. Seconds after that last pic, Sage is here spamming away about how she wants to buy a house, but she needs a boat more. AFK my ass. She didn't even stop to breathe. Half the time Angelica Swift said shit, Sage had her own shit covering it up.

Wheezl doublechecks the retarded guild colors. Blue and Purple is a sign of Honor! She goes inside, and gives us our kickass outfits. A blue robe, purple headband, purple thighboots, and purple sash. YOW!!

Here we are doing what guilds like UoJ do best, stand around the bank and look imposing. Wheezl and I look so badass, dressed like that, with Avenger of Justice over our heads, we are primed for ... standing around the bank with the rest of them and hearing them lie about killing PKs.

Here is Wheezl talking out his ass in a big way. I'm just kinda staying quiet, Avenging Justice and all...

Uh Oh! Trouble arises as lecutus remembers what happened last night! Wheez didn't see him say it either, he was in icq or some shit. I tell Wheez that lecutus just started saying shit about how we rolled them yesterday. What does wheez do to quiet down the situation? Throws a grand on a trade window. Stupid newbie shuts RIGHT up. He has this gay bow/"thank you my lord" macro that he uses all the time. He does this to Wheez twice. Crisis averted.

I'm still laughing about this. Our brave guildmistress tells us about an upcoming "PK Hunt" she's planning, and she hopes everyone will attend. I say to wheez "what a fucking joke, they won't find PKs, and if they do, they are toast". Little did I know the superior event planning abilities she possessed.

LOL! Of course! Hunting PKs at the Chaos Shrine. Sounds like a great plan! Wheezl comes into my room and we both start laughing. It's "SECOND TIME AROUND PK HUNTING" where they actually hunt ON the Chaos Shrine. Defending Justice indeed.

Vega (a friend of Dev's) sees me at Vesper bank with Avenger of Justice, UoJ over my head, and instantly knows a scam is going down.

Angelica swift says some shit about having to go to work, its like 11pm, and it's time for this obviously young boy to "go to work", We don't argue, nosiree. We both instantly chime in with our seperate reasons for logging out for the night. I have to goto sleep, and Wheez has homework, yeah thats it...

PART 2 - "I got your justice right here, newbies"

Wheezl and I run off and bust our disguise kits out. I become Brandon, he becomes Wade. With nothing but d-robes and a bad attitude, its time to kill.

We hit vesper, and come out swinging. I've got the black hair, Wheez is blonde.

X

It wasn't pretty. Neither of us said a word. Just quick, methodic slaughter.

X

We hung out at the bank for a sec and tagged a spanky, about 10 d-robes. Dev there in the healer robe playing the part of the concerned Vesper citizen. Mark the Spicey doesn't understand! "why are they kill?" <uuuunnnggg>

Here lecutus comes up and bows to me, spamming his "thank you my lord macro", and says "what is your proble--- <uuuunnnnnggg>" as I stick a quick arrow in him.

We figure it's best to say it is some kinda bug we used, so they will just think cheaters, instead of examining the loyalty of their own roster. Wheez tells everyone about "the vendor attack bug" where we go greeen to newbies and roll them. Dev here chiming in his two cents while standing on a dead lecutus.

We aren't here for the publicity, we're here for the killage. Our mission complete, we both recall. They never knew what the fuck hit them. All they know is, there were 2 of them, they were green, and they kicked our ass FAST... or so we think.

Kickin back at my house waiting for the disguises to wear off. Took exactly two hours. after that, it's time to hit the town.

We both show up at Vesper bank, where all 3 of those newbies are PISSED and have quit the guild. They tell us of the horrible destruction. Sir Spanky is blaming it on someone named Raven, who apparently runs another guild that for some reason wanted revenge on them. lecutus didn't say much, which kinda worried me, if anyone suspects us, it's him. But Mark The Spicey is another story. He couldn't have done better if we PAID him. He tells Wheezl that they were jumped by SEVEN people, not two. Wheez asks what color they were, and if we are at war with another guild. His answer?

"they were orange"

So what story is Angelica Swift gonna get in the morning? A couple really. Some big evil plot by Raven and his guild, that there were as little as 2, as many as seven of them, and they either highlighted blue, green, or orange. She isn't gonna know what the fuck happened. But they won't suspect us.

Or will they?

If you look at their retarded owo.com page, you will see that OUR NPC NAMES SAVED ON THE GUILD ROSTER!!! That fucking thing saves once every 2 or 3 days. I've added people to the j00 stone and not seen them show up on the guildpage for days. That means 2 shitty things. 1) It had to save during the two hours we were fucking disguised, and 2) it's gonna be a couple of days until that shit gets fixed. Let's hope they don't notice and kick us out...